Feminine wiles for the masculine eye
by Terfle
Summary: Jack is still confused about the application of the personal massager. Dr Mac is on hand to give a show and tell. Smut
1. Chapter 1

DI Jack Robinson approached the evidence with a cautious tread. He was used to examining these items very closely. It was his job. This piece of evidence, however, was not of the usual sort. A rather complicated contraption as far as he could see. He reluctantly cast his mind back to the raid on that Chinese brothel and fuzzily remembered something of a similar nature lying on one of the beds. He hadn't known what it was then and he was almost none the wiser for knowing how they worked now. He ran his gloved fingers carefully over the ridges of the, uh, instrument. He wasn't sure what to call it but it looked quite intimidating.

He froze as a rustle behind him alerted him to the possibility of an awkward situation. Either someone was going to have to ask him to explain it or try and show him how it worked. He was ready for neither event. He was a liberal enough minded man but right now was not the time or place for explanation about it.

A soft chuckle shredded through his unease and melted it somewhat, he knew the owner of that voice. He turned his head to lock eyes with one of his best allies knowing that his exasperation would amuse her. So it did.

'Don't worry, I won't need an explanation on how it works' she said, reading his mind.

'I'm sure you don't.' Doctor Mac was very knowledgeable about all sorts of things, some which would never had entered his mind. They stayed leaning on their arms and looked at the monstrous thing again.

'How was this even invented?' he wondered aloud.

'Well doctors used to think that women had hysteria and wandering wombs and that was bad for the constitution. So they prescribed…manual services to women.'

'Since when?'

'Since ancient times.'

Jack was astounded that this was a medical practice since the ancient times. Rosie had enjoyed the motion of his hand quite a few times in their marriage, once they had accidently realised that it was something rather exciting for both of them. Did that make him a doctor too?

'Now of course doctors are too lazy to do it themselves so they've invented a machine that will do it for them.' She gestured to the obscene lady helper on the table.

Jack cursed himself for his curiosity.

'So why don't you tell me about the visit to this Chinese brothel?'

'It was a raid, not a visit of a personal nature, doctor' he corrected her tersely. She sniggered. She had no doubt that he was an honourable man and not exactly naive to the ways of the world being in the police force but she thought there were quite a few things of a sexual nature he could learn in the meantime. No doubt his ex-wife had been pretty conservative although Mac was more than willing to be surprised and enlightened if it turned out not to be the case. A night with Phryne and her personal massager and he would emerge a new man.

'Is this kind of contraption medically sanctioned for individuals to use at home?'

She rolled her eyes at his formal use of words.

'Yes, it's been easily purchasable for around 15 years. For personal use, it's very much smaller than these old-fashioned things.'

Jack couldn't imagine Rosie having one.

'Most women buy it and tell their husbands it's to relieve headaches and neck tension. It's quite popular in America.'

Jack was sure he'd be fooled by that excuse, along with most husbands.

'And does it?'

'Oh yes. It's useful for a few things.'

'And what if they don't have a husband?' His direct gaze made it quite clear to Mac what his indirect question was. She smiled mischievously, confirming what he thought. A certain someone did own one of these personal massagers. Both of them in fact. He had never applied himself to the task of imagining what women actually do in bed with each other and he didn't think that this was a conversation that was appropriate right now. Or ever, really. Mac wasn't stupid. She knew the signs when a person, particularly a man, was curious as to the Sapphic way of things. The Inspector was an intelligent man, he could figure it out.

Mind you, they were still in the shadow of the Victorian times. Apparently, Mac and her type never recognisably existed back then. She considered herself very fortunate at that.

'Well you can ask someone how it works. They might be so kind as to show you.' She shrugged and left it at that. Jack was irrationally annoyed by her smirk. She was the expert at applying herself to the study of female anatomy after all. She could teach every man a thing or two.


	2. Chapter 2

She wouldn't have done this for just any man. The Sapphic way of life was not for male consumption. But she could bet that there was a consensus among the population that Jack Robinson was one of the only men any woman could trust. So she let him in on a secret. She reckoned she was doing both him and Phryne a favour because no doubt these two would get it on pretty soon and knowledge is power and blahblahblah.

She'd seen the spark of interest in his eye and decided on swearing a few people to secrecy. First she paid a visit to an open minded friend and laid out the plan. The friend gleefully agreed. Anything to give men a much needed education in female pleasure.

The night she visited the Detective Inspector was one he would never forget.

'Tonight?'

'No time like the present' she cheerfully exclaimed and threw him his coat. He shrugged and followed her. He'd learned not to question her too much. The night's destination became apparent when he found himself nearing the door of a decidedly female establishment. He hesitated, suspicion blossoming in his mind as to what she had in store for him but Mac casually hustled him through the back door. He complied. If he put himself in Mac's hands for the evening, he had to follow her.

'Keep your attention on me' she instructed as they nonchalantly meandered down corridors, her chatting softly about medical matters and he nodding along. Jack had never felt so awkward in his life. It was a measure of how respected Mac was that no woman objected to her visitor. Nobody acknowledged his presence as long he didn't stare or hurry through. He heard signs of life coming from different rooms; women drinking beer like men and raucously laughing, women dancing burlesque and even a civilised sing song around a piano. He caught sight of a pair of passionate lovers in the corridor kissing as if their lives depended on it. He turned his head as they passed and wondered how they managed to get closer with the inconvenience of those sizable bosoms. Another secret only known to women, he supposed.

Mac opened the door to an empty room, tiny and simply furnished with a chaise longue, tapestry and curtains. It was a soft muted pink, something he gathered that wasn't to Mac's taste by the way she slightly wrinkled her nose. However it wasn't heavily perfumed with rose as he had expected. Mac took a few seconds to peruse the room by sight and walked over to the tapestry. She twitched it aside.

'This looks comfortable.'

He looked at her in disbelief. Was he actually going to go along with this?

'Give it a try.' She gave him an encouraging look.

Apparently he was. He slowly walked over and investigated. Behind there was a shelf where various cosmetics perched in storage.

'We can relocate these' said Mac, gathering them up and distributing them elsewhere. Meanwhile Jack tried the shelf for size and decided it was safer for his coat and hat. He felt in the pockets to recall where he left his keys, and wrapped it so it wouldn't fall. He felt something else in there and took it out in surprise. He hadn't left a handkerchief in there. There was a stripe of light coming through. He turned it over, thinking that didn't look like one of his. He was so busy examining it he hadn't realised that the show had started. He froze as another female voice joined the doctor. That stripe of light was there to help him out.

Over the next 20 minutes he had the biggest challenge to date when putting into practice his well honed breath control trick. It was essential to quieten, slow down and moderate the breath when waiting for and listening out for a suspect. It was mandatory in the police force and took weeks to learn. Never had Jack needed it more.

Mac herself stayed decently attired but her blonde partner had thrown her clothes off at some point, with a little help from the doctor and her nimble fingers. He'd never seen women do with each other what men do with women. Jack was well practiced in stroking the most intimate areas a woman possessed, it was something he enjoyed. Years of marriage had made him well attuned to Rosie's body. He hadn't had or given that sort of attention for a very long time which would account for his body responding in a most disgraceful way in public. He tried to reason with himself that he was technically hidden which would make it private.

The blonde woman had been thoroughly investigated and well lubricated in a way that made him wonder if all men were this clueless. He was a little embarrassed that he didn't know as much as he thought. Who knew that fingers could be used as a sort of…replacement?

He now knew who had put that handkerchief in his pocket now. Mac was quite the organiser. He stealthily unzipped and kept hold of himself while he watched events unfold. He wished he'd known how to use his tongue like that in the marital bed. The human imagination knew no bounds. He tried to clear his head but feminine fingers were exploring in a way that made him dizzy. A familiar hot and heavy feeling was descending upon him and he gave into the inevitable itch that no man could resist. Clutching the cloth, he stroked himself with a practiced hand while he vigilantly controlled his breathing. He was sure this woman had consented to be peeked upon but just in case…

He watched with fascination as a smaller safer looking version of the piece of evidence was taken out and indeed applied to an intimate area. He didn't know what the parts of the female anatomy was called, he'd usually navigated that area in the dark. But he noted that it got her to a climax faster than the other methods had. He was about to match her pretty soon. He hadn't reckoned how arousing all of this was. If this was a medical procedure, this must make all Sapphics, doctors. He pressed his lips together as a sudden surge of mirth overtook him and he stopped what he was doing. It was like trying to stifle a sneeze. It took a little time to get it under control but surprisingly he'd stayed as hard as ever. Considering the giggles and laughter that was vibrating around the room, he was in good company.

His release was quite civilised considering that he'd been watching the most unusual thing he'd ever seen. His quiet gasp was easily masked by the noises the lucky lady was indulging in. No wonder Mac didn't provide these services in her professional life, she wouldn't be able to keep a straight face. Neither would he. He thanked whoever above that he had chosen the police as a career. Hardened criminals he could deal with. The thought of multiple intimate bodily contact in the name of science made him run for the hills. The handkerchief was sodden by the time he'd finished and he wasn't sure what to do with it. Balling it up and carefully placing it on the corner of the shelf seemed appropriate right now. He tucked himself neatly in and rearranged his composure for when the blonde had recovered. They went for it multiple times and Jack was now realising why the electric thing had been invented. He'd imagine that having to explain why your hand was cramped after a day at work would be rather awkward.

He had no idea how long he'd been standing there and only the thought of his respectability kept his hand from straying back. But damn, had he learned a lot. These Sapphics were raunchy. They'd even relaxed with a quick smoke and a drink afterwards. He had to admit to his admiration of them. They were certainly odd but who could begrudge someone so resourceful?

When the blonde had recovered enough to sashay out of the room, Mac downed her whiskey, cleaned and packed the device away and sat on the chaise longue to wait. She wasn't entirely sure how long it took the individual man to recover and rearrange himself. He didn't come out from the tapestry straight away so they conducted a short conversation in a roundabout way. She confirmed that using the massager was a lot of fun and could be applied to various parts of the male anatomy to great effect. He could well believe it. His breath quickened just thinking of it. Now that he knew that Miss Fisher owned one of these contraptions, he could see the appeal of sleeping in most mornings the way she habitually did.

He just hoped that he could that he could face Dr Mac at work without thinking of this episode. Lord forbid she eat an ice cream in front of him. He feared they would look at each other at some point during an investigation and start laughing. Very unprofessional. And of course Phryne would demand to know what was so funny and he wasn't going to tell her just yet.

Mac's smile told him that she wasn't going to tell either. This was a comforting sight when he finally poked his head out from the tapestry. She poured him a whiskey and handed him a rose scented hanky to wipe his hands. The smell of rose was forever corrupted for him and he was glad that Phryne didn't wear it.

'Thanks for the backup. Very thoughtful. Any thoughts of how to dispose of it?'

'Throw it out of the window. I won't need it anytime soon.'

It sailed out of the window and with it took some of his apprehension about the night's activities. He turned around and asked her why she'd arranged this little excursion for him.

'Well if you and Phryne finally get on with it, you'll spend your time wisely instead of faffing around like teenagers.'

'I'm astounded by your considerate nature.'

'Well I don't make a habit of it' she grinned at him in a way that confirmed that she really did. When Mac's friends tracked down the sound of laughter, they found the doctor collapsed on the floor with a strange man, laughing fit to burst.

They descended upon him and grabbed hold of him as ardent as Dionysus' maenads. Jack had never been so terrified of a bunch of women before. They chased him out, chanting savage play threats, Mac giggling wildly alongside him as she also allowed herself to be shepherded out the back door. They'd forgive her later. They ran out onto the road still laughing at the night they'd had and walked home in the moonlight, two behatted silhouettes skipping from exhilaration.


End file.
